HUMOR: There are many old wives’ tales about how to get rid of hiccups. All wrong! Don’t even try ‘em! After considerable scientific study over many years and beers, I have discovered ten sure ways to stop those revolting burps for any annoying person who’s bothering you with those disgusting sounds:

1. Force the hiccupper to watch and listen to Rosie O’Donnell for five … no … one minute.

2. Show the hiccupper a picture of the naked Hlllary Clinton.

3. Show the hiccupper a picture of the naked Bill Clinton.

4. Sneak up to the hiccupper’s left ear and suddenly fire both barrels of Dick Cheney’s shotgun from one inch away.

5. Hire Michael Richards and Mel Gibson to shout hateful racial slurs into the hiccupper’s right ear.

6. Push the hiccupper’s head under water for exactly 12.5 minutes without allowing coming up for air.

7. Make the hiccupper hold a conversation with Paris Hilton for five … no … one minute.

8. Sneak into Barry Bonds’ locker, take out any one of the hypodermic needles and stick it in the hiccupper’s arm.

9. Threaten to force the hiccupper to sit through an entire global warming lecture by Al Gore.

10. Make the hiccupper listen to Tupac Shakur and Notorious B.I.G. singing, “Onward Christian Soldiers.”

Related posts:

1. Renting with the homeowner in the building