Humor: Family portraits

Back in the day, the three musketeers were inseparable. My cousin Melanie, my brother and I. All separated by one year, all birthdays in December. The unified front against our cousins in Monessen. While Mel lived about 40 minutes away (in a slightly more upscale neighborhood), we always managed to spend a ridiculous amount of time together. Summers were especially awesome. We lived in a very rural area where the days were very long and filled with fun times. Our yard was huge as our grandparents lived right next door. (Great for escaping the house, terrible for sneaking out or sneaking people in.) They had a dog that was as big as a house, and being the Sagittarius that I am, I had a bond with that dog like no other. They tell me that I used to ride around on her back like she was a horse.

I recall one early Saturday afternoon in particular. I knew that Mel was coming to the house and I couldn’t wait. I had friends around the house, but then, family was way more important. (Unfortunately, the musketeers, or at least one of them, went their separate ways and forgot how important family was and is.) I waited oh so impatiently to see my aunt’s car come down our street.

Finally! They’re here!

I ran out of our house like the proverbial bat out of hell. Full speed ahead down through our yard and into my grandparents yard. I was cute, I was graceful, I was small, and I was muscular. I was excited. I was covered in dog poop on my entire right side because in my haste, I didn’t notice that the dog had dropped a bomb in my path. I was running full speed and planted a foot directly in poop and then tried to turn a corner. I was a running back on wet turf, tackled by number 2, Doo Doo Brown.

And this, this is the beautiful thing about family. There was no embarrassment. There was no mean laughing. We all laughed together as badly as I smelled. I took a shower, changed clothes, and play resumed like it never even happened. I guess that’s how you know someone is family. They still love you no matter how much crap you’re in.

Part 2

Part 2 insinuates a continuation from the first part, but that is not what this is.

I grew up in the late 70s – early 80s, child of sports fans. Many a summer evening was spent in Three Rivers Stadium watching the Pirates beat up on whomever was in town. As such, we knew of the greats (at least Pittsburgh greats) Willie Stargell, Dave Parker, and later the outfield to die for of Bonilla, Bonds, and Van Slyke.

Guide to essential womens shoes

Bette Midler once said “Give a girl the right shoes and she can conquer the world.” So what exactly are the right shoes? With an amazing array of choice when it comes to shoe shopping, it can be difficult to work out which pair to leave the store with. Tempting as it may be, it isn’t practical to buy them all. So, before you give in to impulses, make sure you build a closet of essential shoes.

Six essential shoes every woman should own:

1. Ballet flats

Audrey Hepburn made these shoes a style staple. They are comfortable and very versatile; you can wear them with office gear, jeans or even a little black dress. Black are very classic and go with virtually any other color.

2. Knee High boots

Choose a neutral or black colored pair in leather. The most classic styles have a slightly square toe and a medium height, block heel. They should fit well around the calf and come to just under the knee to achieve the most flattering appearance.

3. Flip flops

Whether it’s for a day at the beach or taking the rubbish out, you always need something to quickly slide on and off your feet that isn’t too precious. Make sure you choose a pair that is comfortable between the toes and for practicality rubber styles are perfect.

4. Sneakers

Every woman needs a pair of sneakers for walking, going to the gym or running all day errands. The new street style sneakers are perfect for versatility, but if you partake in a high impact sport you might need a more serious trainer.

5. High heel sandals or pumps

When Catherine de Medici wore a two inch heel to help her appear taller at her wedding ceremony in 1533 she probably had no idea as to the trend she was starting. Even if your lifestyle is very casual it pays to have one classy pair of heels you can wear for special occasions or formal appearances. If you choose a leather pair in a neutral color you will find that they can take you from the office through to cocktails or an evening out. So if you can only afford one pair avoid embellishment or fabrics like velvet or satin. Also make sure you choose a heel style you can walk in, if you are confident in stilettos go ahead and indulge in these because they are always classic. Otherwise choose more of a block heel.

6. Flat sandals

Choose a pair that are dressy enough to work back with semi formal dresses and these shoes will get loads of use. A nice pair works with casual office gear through to casual summer dresses.

A few more additional classics, if your budget stretches further:

-Pumps or loafers suitable for the office

-Mid heel sling backs-the strap provides great support

-strappy evening shoes with some bling

-A casual leather boot in suede

-A dressy leather boot with a stiletto heel for winter evening events

Shoes can truly make or break an outfit, having a good selection of classics on hand means you should always have something suitable to wear on your feet!

Femme Fatal

I thought that it would be a good idea to talk about how we women are less than “above board” with men and relationships since I frequently discuss the shortcomings of the male population. You ladies didn’t really think I had forgotten about you now did you? Oh, I get it. You must’ve assumed that since I am a woman that you’d be absolved from criticism right? Nooooot!!! Let’s face it, you know it had to be a matter of time before good ole C. V. drops it like it’s hot right? Well here goes ladies so get prepared.

If you have been a loyal reader of my Blog or have read or downloaded any number of my narratives that have been published on the internet then you have probably been privy to the factual accounts that I have written openly recounting my experiences with men that are, let’s say “not up to snuff” in the relationship department or in their personal lives in terms of being motivated for the enrichment of their own lives and/or honest with women.

However, throughout the years it seems that the female population has managed to play catch up in terms of deviousness. No not only have they caught up, an alarming amount of women have exceeded the male population when it comes to misleading, lying, conniving and exploiting men. Yeah I said it! And you know what? It’s true and you know it!!

It’s been said that men tell more lies but women are more adept at it than men. Or try this one on for size, “women are better at cheating and sneaking around than men”. Let’s face it ladies we can be quite calculating when we want to be. And a lot of us, as regrettable as it should be, are taking our GOOD men for granted. Not only are we scheming, sneaking and cheating we are also abusing the good, the hard working, the trustworthy, the man that is is really-in-love-with-you, the do-anything-that-you-want-them-to-do-to-try-to-please-you type of man.

These men come to us in the form of husbands, boyfriends, common law mates, significant others, the distance relationship or any way that you can define the type of testosterone that is there for Y-O-U. You know the type ladies. He can be categorized as the one who has your back when no one else does. This is the man whom you go to when you want to get that hair done, or those nails manicured and those toes pedicured. When you’ve paid all of your bills yet find you still have a financial obligation that needs to be taken care of whom may I ask do you go to? You go to “him” for resolution don’ t you? What about when you just want to ask your sweetie for some pocket change. These men willfully, without question or comment for that matter pass the requested cheddar right into your sweet little hands. These men, the ones that are as dependable as old hound dogs are being jerked around by the likes of us. WOMEN!!!

What type of example do we set for our children when we manipulate the trust and respect that our man has for us when we negatively influence a “good thing” for our selfish and dishonorable means?? Shame on you!! You know EXACTLY who you are!!!! What about morals and self-respect? Most believe that as long as he doesn’t know what’s being done to him that it won’t hurt him. But YOU KNOW!! What about that minor fact?? It should at least have some effect on your actions based upon the love that he harbors for YOU in his heart don’t you think!

Now don’t get me wrong. I am by no means an angel in this. I too have done my dirt in my life. But that was the C. V. of yesteryear, I was young, stupid and irresponsible with the love of another. I failed to realize how infrequently “true love” passes my way and took something so valuable, something so unique, for granted. Thank God for personal growth!! Luckily, I am no longer the same woman today. I now solicit, want and respect a “love” relationship when I am fortunate to get myself into one of em.

I have witnessed women go home on a Friday, entice their man into making love to them (to enable their man to falsely believe that when they go out “to hang with the girls”) that they are doing just that. They make love to their guy to give him a false sense of “I still want you type of deal”. For the woman practicing deceit, we ALL know that’s a flat out lie right?? What about the man who works the night shift? Shouldn’t he be able to trust that his woman is at home holding it down instead of sneaking the mailman in through the back door while he exits through the front?

I recently heard a song in which the singer tells the story of a woman that tricked a man into believing a kid was his for eighteen years so that she could get child support from him. How trifling is that???? I can’t for the life of me see how a woman can live with herself for eighteen years knowing full well that the man who is paying for the support of her child is not the biological father of her child. That is sooo unfathomable to me. SO UNFATHOMABLE!! What for the life of me ever happened to conscientiousness and high-minded values? Is it not “cool” in today’s society? Shoot what ever happened to deception being plain ole WRONG? Women’s behavior today is not only off the hook or out of the box, it’s off the freaking CHAIN or better yet it’s off the darn MEATRACK. Christ it’s just plain off!!

We need to THINK about how we have a hand in the destruction of our men. The cops and the judicial system aren’t doing it single-handedly ladies. Then we want to cry and complain when our men cheat and mistreat us. What are we teaching them when we condone inappropriate behavior? WRONG is as WRONG does and we are far from being absolved. Time to stop playing the role of the victim and time to start viewing life in a realistic manner. IT’S NOT ALWAYS THE FAULT OF THE MAN!!

How can one live with themselves? What happened to your heart? Has the world been so callous to you that you tactlessly take out your frustrations and shortcomings on men? Is that going to make your situation or your life any better? I think not. What in the world has happened to women today to force them to be so thick-skinned?

We’re supposed to be the rib of men, their backbone, the one they can rely upon to make all the jagged edges smooth, make the rough roads level. Our man should get a calming effect from our mere presence or solely from the sound of our voice. What’s come of us??? What about “behind a good man there lies a good woman?” Yoo-hoo? Good women where art thou???

I often meet men who are extremely emotionally damaged based upon the lies, and deceit that they’ve experienced from past relationships. So much so that it would take the “new woman” trying to be part of his life the assistance of a bulldozer in order to even get close to his heart. These men trust no one and they become easily jealous and suspecting. How unfair is that to a woman who wants to date and build a new relationship with them?

What about the man who has been physically violated by his woman? These men rarely come to the forefront to discuss their vicious situations because it is not “the manly thing” to do. They keep stuffing it inside hoping that the pain and shame will go away. These situations present themselves each and every day. Now I’m sure if the man that has been physically mistreated by his woman were to lift his hand to strike her ONE TIME, she’d be knocked to her feet. We all know men regardless their size have more upper body strength than a woman. But a real TRUE man does not have to exercise his physical power. Hence, he suffers his maltreatment and humiliation in silence hoping that his mate will one day see that he loves her and gets her act together before he finally gets fed up and steps off….for GOOD!

I am outraged each time I am approached with this topic. I know that there is nothing that I can do to change it because I am not every woman. I am only responsible for myself, I can only change me. Nonetheless, I can give my points of view, I can write as long as there are people like you that can read. And write I will!

A lot of women are no longer the sweet, the warm, the right hand of the men in their lives. We have become the Femme Fatals of the universe and it’s a disgrace for all womankind. Are you one of them? Are you one of the deadly women of today? And deadly it is because not only do you kill the image for the honest innocent woman looking to achieve wedded bliss, you kill the hope, expectations and a man’s desire for a woman that he can TRUST!! Only you know the answer to this question. If you are one of them then take a look at yourself. Take a real good look. Do you like what you see? While you’re at it, take a gander at that man sitting over there next to you or sitting in the next room. He loves you. You’re hurting him even if he doesn’t know he’s being hurt yet. Everything done in the dark ALWAYS comes to the light ya know. I am a firm believer in Karma and if you aren’t a believer then maybe you should be. Admit it or not either you change the way you do things today or you’ll pay for it twofold tomorrow.

Femme Fatal you may be but you can become a woman of dignity coupled with respect and more importantly, honor. It’s never to late for a positive change.

Copyright by C.V. Harris. All rights reserved.

Salad recipes

iMom Recipes has a lot of really good recipes. It also allows you to share any recipes you may have.

www.imomrecipes.com

Decide for yourself which recipe is terrific!

A sneak preview:

Red Potato Salad

2 lb Red potatos, quartered,

( about six cups)

8 oz Shredded cheddar cheese

(I use half this amount to

Reduce fat and calories)

1 1/2 c Sliced celery

1 c Red pepper, cut into 1 inch

Chunks.

1/2 c Green onions, sliced

3/4 c Bottled Italian salad

Dressing (I use reduced

Or non-fat)

For the directions to this recipe, visit www.imomrecipes.com and under the Salads category, look for Red Potato Salad.

Poetry: Feelings

Just keep bouncing…

Now I’ve stopped

My mind asleep,

Slow motion,

Slow beat beat of heart drums

against eyelids

empty of blankets

trances…

hearing is static,

voices echo through the maze

of vacant veins,

muscles on hiatus

Everything draping

heavy, heavy

sinking soft and thudding lead

fingers loosen grip

Mouths move faster than words

Colors infuse,

Pixels dance

swaying boxes

trapezed elements,

blurred in transaction-

tangents disperse

Solidifying chaos

sneaking, sneaking.

Verbs are fantasies

framed on still standing epitaphs

Tap tap

small tinges of motion

Pumping life in premises lacking

Breath defies eternity,

spasm shocks the art awake

before you drown in

silk smothered earth skin

Just keep bouncing…

A brief history of the worst shoe trends – Part 1

Warning! Warning! DO NOT leave your house without taking a good look at what your wearing on your feet. History has proclaimed some shoes “fashion disasters” and these should NEVER leave the house. We all know we are supposed to learn from past mistakes, so unless you have a really great excuse like “my house is on fire” DO NOT get caught wearing the following footwear.


Shoes trends which shouldn’t set one foot on the sidewalk (in no particular order of hideousness):

1. DR MARTENS WORN WITH EVERYTHING-in the late eighties and early nineties women wore these heavy combat style shoes with everything, including feminine dresses. The two looks simply don’t go together and thankfully have not made a come back.

2. SNEAKERS WITH HEELS-sneakers are worn for comfort, whereas heels are usually worn for sex appeal. Combining the two by simply taking the bottom half from one and sticking it to the other resulted in a fashion experiment gone wrong. Sketchers are noted for bringing out a shoe which literally looked like a sneaker with a high heel glued to the bottom.

Another look that isn’t so great is the platform sneaker. The Spice girls made these shoes popular in the late nineties, but these women have all restyled their look for a reason. Make sure you do the same. If you want a shoe that is comfortable, but still attractive stick to shoes that have blended these characteristics successfully like ballet flats.

3. SANDALS WORN WITH SOCKS-although not a shoe style on their own the sock and sandal look is definitely worth a mention. It inspires images of unfashionable elderly men with socks pulled up to their knees. Unless you work as a geisha then this is not a look you want to try.

4. CROCS-these rubber shoes with large open holes almost look like they belong in an alien movie. What’s worse is that they seem to be coming out with new even uglier styles. There’s the Croc which is lined with sheepskin and more recently Croc high heels. Unless you are cleaning the pool, gardening or lounging around the house then these shoes should not make an appearance.

Yes they might be comfortable, yes they allow your feet to breathe, but they are also hideously ugly and they aren’t as practical as you might imagine. In Japan they have issued a safety warning about this type of footwear. Many children have received injuries to their feet when their Crocs have gotten caught in the moving parts on escalators.

5. JELLY SHOES-unless you are less than nine years

Arachnids: Zebra spiders

The zebra spider is one of the most common spiders in the world, and is probably the best known amongst the jumping spider family. It can be found in almost every climate and is a common sight in warm weather in and around the home. However there are many traits and behaviours exhibited by the zebra spider, which set it apart from most spiders and make it a most fascinating species to study

Zebra spiders (Salticus scenicus) are so named because of their black and white stripes, similar to that of a zebra. The black and white camouflage in this case is useful because it helps to hide the spider against dark backgrounds and also to predators makes it look like a bird dropping from above. Mainly this is useful because the zebra spider stalks and then jumps on its prey, and so needs to get fairly close to it.

The prey of zebra spiders ranges from ants to mosquitoes, and pretty much everything in between. Although because they must physically subdue their prey they cannot take anything much larger or stronger than themselves, as they are unaided by webs to trap their prey before attacking it. Their usual method of hunting is to get close to prey on the ground by sneaking up to it on an adjacent vertical surface. From there they can pounce and kill their prey very quickly.

Unlike most spiders zebra spiders also have excellent eyesight and because of this aren’t immediately alarmed when they encounter a human. If you were to approach one on a wall rather then fleeing as their first response they are quite happy to observe you unless you actually try to attack or eat them. This is because their eyes perceive things faster then ours, or in fact many animals do. For example if they were to watch TV the images would be too slow for them to perceive as a moving image, giving it the appearance of a slide show.

Compared to most spiders the zebra spider has short legs and a stocky body, which allow it to leap very powerfully and to run extremely fast as well. It is so powerfully built in fact that it can leap up a vertical surface, which is something that few other species can do. This build also means that it is comparatively strong for its size, allowing it to overpower as well as surprise its prey. Many spiders by comparison have to either be a lot larger or rely on the aid of a web to kill their prey.

Normally towards the end of summer some spiders will make their way into the home, mainly because of the warmth. Zebra spiders will rarely make their way inside buildings in the same manner though, as they usually die by the end of the summer. Also the smaller prey species that they usually like to feed on don’t tend to be found inside the home either, and tend to die off at the end of the summer themselves.

Another interesting behaviour that zebra spiders exhibit is that they will readily feed on other spiders. Most web-building spiders have very poor vision, and rely on the vibrations of their web to locate their prey. Because of this the zebra and indeed other jumping spiders, can sneak as close as they need to before striking. Zebra spiders have also been known to purposely touch other spiders webs to entice them over before attacking, which is something that only a few spiders have shown.

Despite their speed and jumping prowess there are still several other insects that will make a meal of the zebra spider on occasion. Centipedes and other larger hunting spiders will on occasion eat zebra spiders, as will ants who happen to catch them on the ground. This isn’t generally a regular occurrence however, because amongst invertebrates they are one of the fastest and certainly have better eyesight than most.

A Sneak Preview of Acne Medicines and Treatments

Acne is a skin disease that every ten meetings and deal with at some point in their lives. The condition affects adolescents at various levels as well. Some may meet only with the simplest case of acne, while others are affected by severe cases of acne. These cases have involved severe acne scars left physically, if not properly treated and medicated.

Blackheads are considered the most visible and distinct signs of acne pimples and whiteheads side. It is advisable to get rid of those defects and reduce acne breakouts regardless of expensive treatments and medications for acne.

Getting rid of acne is a challenging task to do. Treat your acne should be done correctly. Can leave scars on your face that replaces the blacks objects. It is not advisable to be fucking blacks squeeze points and once we can see in his face. As a result, you may regret these actions throughout his life, when scars are left to your face.

If you are really miserable, and suffering from severe acne breakouts, our first defense should be an adequate knowledge. The clogged pores are the main causes of acne outburst. And 'the result of a reaction to clogged pores creating portions discoloration to your face. Just like you can treat and prevent acne? Here are the best acne products that are available on the market.

1.Phyto Me Acne Gel cleanses and soothes the skin. Fights and relieves the pain occurs from acne. It 'actually used in dealing with zits, whiteheads, and points blacks.

2.Acne Dry Spot is used to treat existing blemishes and acne scars. We recommend that you apply only in affected areas.

3.Derma Clear is a skin care product that cleans and brightens the skin in a short period of use. You should apply every day to keep skin clear and flawless.

4.Astara Blue Flame Purification is a scent of lavender which acts as an aroma therapy treatment for the stress you get from acne. To see its effectiveness, apply IT 15 to 20 minutes for your skin.

5.Neutrogena cooling gel mask clears the pores and reduce the appearance of spots left by acne breakouts. It also controls the explosions that are linked to clogged pores.

6.DDF BP Gel 5% with Tea Tree Oil contains antibacterial and preventive anti-inflammatory, such as benzoyl peroxide to clear off the acne spots and prevents new momentum.

7.DDF Acne Scrub is an exfoliating pumice stone, and cleaning products to use the product of benzoyl peroxide. It 'very effective in combating acne breakouts and are able to eliminate the razor bumps on his face.

Blemish Bomb is a product 8.Biore Profile overnight treatment that works like a acne patch.

Acne affects about 90 percent of adolescents and adults around the world. In reality, there is still a unique and proven therapy for treating acne.

If you are suffering from acne, finding the right medication and true in your case might take some time. Patience and a lot of self-control is a must.

Never, ever shake your dick and pimples. Having a healthy lifestyle, eat well, and good hygiene should be helpful in treating your acne.

How to get rid of hiccups

HUMOR: There are many old wives’ tales about how to get rid of hiccups. All wrong! Don’t even try ‘em! After considerable scientific study over many years and beers, I have discovered ten sure ways to stop those revolting burps for any annoying person who’s bothering you with those disgusting sounds:

1. Force the hiccupper to watch and listen to Rosie O’Donnell for five … no … one minute.

2. Show the hiccupper a picture of the naked Hlllary Clinton.

3. Show the hiccupper a picture of the naked Bill Clinton.

4. Sneak up to the hiccupper’s left ear and suddenly fire both barrels of Dick Cheney’s shotgun from one inch away.

5. Hire Michael Richards and Mel Gibson to shout hateful racial slurs into the hiccupper’s right ear.

6. Push the hiccupper’s head under water for exactly 12.5 minutes without allowing coming up for air.

7. Make the hiccupper hold a conversation with Paris Hilton for five … no … one minute.

8. Sneak into Barry Bonds’ locker, take out any one of the hypodermic needles and stick it in the hiccupper’s arm.

9. Threaten to force the hiccupper to sit through an entire global warming lecture by Al Gore.

10. Make the hiccupper listen to Tupac Shakur and Notorious B.I.G. singing, “Onward Christian Soldiers.”

Nike Dunks and Air Jordan — How to Avoid Cheap Imitations

Nike is perhaps the most popular brand when it comes to basketball sneakers, this is the main reason why this line of shoes is highly duplicated or imitated, the Air Jordan brand only releases their shoes once every year, they do this in order to keep the value of the shoe as high as possible and make it a collectors item, having said that it is obvious that the availability of such product will not be as high as all other sneakers. The law of demand will obviously common to play because the supply of these shoes is limited and the demand remains quite high which will obviously increase the value of the sneakers.

There are many ways that you can spot a cheap imitation you actually have the product in front of you, if this is not the case then spotting an imitation will be a lot harder nevertheless, there are still several pointers you can use in order to determine the legitimacy of this product, let’s take a look at them:

Materials:

If you go to a store if you actually have the product in front of you, you can inspect the materials which have been used to manufacture the Nike Air Jordan or Nike dunks you are wanting to purchase. If you are buying a pair of Nike sneakers which have plastic on them that you might want to pay close attention to this material because many imitations use cheap plastic which is not as hard and durable as the one used in the original version, they imitation plastic will obviously come apart after a short period of time an even faster if you actually use them to play basketball. When you play a highly intense game such as basketball you are able to truly test the quality and durability of the product you have just purchased, Nike sneakers where specifically manufactured for Michael Jordan who was a very fast player and it is obvious it was such a high speed issues will have to be of the highest quality, otherwise it will come apart.

Availability and price:

As we have previously stated the Nike Air Jordan division only releases these sneakers on a specific date of the year, this keeps a low supply in high demand. It is obvious that the amount of Air Jordans available will not be very high but when you go online and come across a badly designed website which sells Nike shoes you will easily be able to deduct that the product being sold is a fake if the website claims to have thousands in stock and sell them at a very low price. When these sneakers and go on sale their price ranges between 50 and $70 however, according to the version they may go as high as $300+ which is a case of the Air Jordan III.

Another more obvious way to spot the fake is if they use the word replica in the title, if you browse the web in order to buy products then you have surely come across products which claimed to be replicas of items which are usually expensive, it is very common to hear about replicas in the handbag and purse industry; this very same concept seems to be crossing over and invading the footwear industry.

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